Home Is Where The Blade Is
Home Is Where The Blade Is
Wood and Wood Not
December 19, 2018
Aunts, Uncles, Evermore
Uncle Yakov has been chopping wood for hours. He piles the logs carefully and, thinking of the quote from Einstein about the satisfaction of simple tasks, decides to chop some more, his labor having long since defeated the cold of this December day.
Finally, as dusk encroaches upon the blue winter sky, he puts down the ax and walks into the house, through the back door, which leads to the kitchen. His wife, Aunt Zerebeth, is removing an apple pie from the oven and she smiles at him and he asks her if she’d like to have sex.
Yes, she says, but not with you.
I’ve been chopping wood for hours! He tells her. I deserve sex, I deserve apple pie, and I deserve answers.
Aunt Zerebeth puts another pie in the oven and tells Uncle Yakov how lonely it will be in hell for him if he doesn’t shut his fuckin’ yappin’ hole.
He remembers now just why he loves this woman so preciously.
Over the next few days he chops more wood and she bakes more pies and then they host a series of Christmas parties featuring pies, chopped wood, gin and copious merriment.
After the final party Uncle Yakov and Aunt Zerebeth are cleaning up and laughing, knowing how blessed they are. She asks him if he would like to have sex and he tells her to go chop wood.
She does. He watches her from the window. She removes all of her clothes and chops wood in the winter cold while stark naked. He bakes some cookies. --TK
Wednesday, December 19, 2018