Next Time, She’ll Cut The Grass
Next Time, She’ll Cut The Grass
The Horny and the Horrible
Friday, October 4, 2019
Happy Men Underground
He took out the lawnmower and she said to him, “Watch out for the happy men.”
“What?” He had heard her but hadn’t heard her.
“The happy men underground,” she told him as she trimmed the rose bushes. “Don’t you dare run them over!”
I think she has gone crazy, he said to himself as he fired up the mower on this chilly October day, perhaps one of the final times he would need to mow this year.
He mowed the grass, cutting it down, up and down making nice, diagonal rows of freshly cut green beauty.
Then he reached the small patch of mushrooms springing up through the ground by the bird feeder. They, literally, had appeared overnight.
He ran them over without hesitation…and heard screams. Horrible screams.
He stopped the mower and turned and she was glaring at him with tears in her eyes.
“How could you!?” She screamed. “How could you?”
He looked at the shredded mushrooms and saw blood coming from the holes in the ground where the mushrooms used to be planted.
“Oooohhh…” he said as he rubbed his crotch in sympathy. “Oooohhh….shit. So sorry, fellas. So sorry.” --TK
Friday, October 4, 2019