In The Wilderness
In The Wilderness
Rammed Over
October 28, 2020
Rams 24, Bears 10
Left Coast Losers
The Chicago Bears traveled to Los Angeles to face the Rams on Monday night but their offense apparently got stuck somewhere near Omaha.
Actually, the Bears offense disappeared a long time ago, probably about 1926, and so it was the same old song and fart as the Mopers of the Midway fell to the Rams, 24-10 and are now, without a doubt, the worst 5-2 team in the history of organized sports, polite society, and accepted religion.
The Bears offense was outscored by the Bears defense, 7-3.
The Bears cannot run the ball.
The Bears defense celebrated scoring a touchdown late in the game when they were down by three touchdowns, which doesn’t make them look joyous but stupid.
The Bears have a quarterback who might be better than the guy he replaced or he might not and it really does not matter because neither one of them can hold Gardner Minshew’s mustache wax, much less Johnny Unitas’ jockstrap.
Curious play calling, six penalties, two turnovers, no cheerleaders, endless questions. How can a 5-2 team exude so little joy, confidence, and hope?
Coming into this game, the Rams had only beaten all four teams from the NFC East, the worst division in the universe, so there were questions about how good they really were. Now they have beaten the NFC East and the Bears so no, we still don’t know if they’re good.
We do know that Bears coach Matt Nagy has to give up his play calling duties. We also know that while every sentient being in Chicago says the Bears cannot possibly bench quarterback Nick Foles who replaced Mitch Trubisky and put Trubisky back in we ask “why not?” Would that be chaos? Would that be crazy? We say Nagy is the coach and can do what he wants. We say professional quarterbacks and all the other players on the team are paid to prepare so sure, put Trubisky back in. Then put Foles back in. Then maybe try third-stringer Tyler Bray, a guy whose name I had to Google.
What about giving some carries to backup running back Ryan Nall? What about him?
What about throwing to rookie tight end Cole Kmet ten times a game no matter what the down, distance, or score?
What about cloning wide receiver Allen Robinson? Have we tried that yet?
What about love? You know, love. What about it?
October is coming to a close. It always ends on Halloween. We never thought a 5-2 team would be gloomy, if not downright scary, to itself.
We never thought, we never thought, we never thought. But now we are thinking a lot. --TK
Wednesday, October 28, 2020