On The Seventh Day, They Sucked
On The Seventh Day, They Sucked
The Sick, The Sad, The Sackless
November 30, 2020
Sunday Night Nincompoops
Packers 41, Bears 25
Aaron Rodgers did not need to take his jersey to the cleaners. The equipment guy could save his soap. Aaron could have worn his #12 shirt out to dinner and no one would have noticed anything except the clean smell of touchdowns.
This is because NBC flashed a statistic late in the game Sunday night which said the Chicago Bears did not sack the Packers quarterback on a chilly Sunday night in Green Bay. Not even once. The Bears also, for the record, did not hit him. Mr. Rodgers had a clean pocket and clean shirt all night long and looked like he was mocking the Bears as he and his Packer pals tore up the Mopers of the Midway in a 41-25 victory that was about as ugly as COVID-19 conscious Lambeau Field was empty.
Do you remember World War One? This was worse.
Before the game some of us—drunk on nougat no doubt—convinced ourselves the Bears, losers of four straight, actually had a chance. But when, a few hours before kickoff, it was announced that Bears defensive tackle Aikem Hicks would not play because of an injured hamstring the Bears’ chances of winning went from one in a billion to none in a zillion.
The Bears offense is not terrible. The Bears offense is simply not. It’s not there at all.
The Bears are angry, the Bears are embarrassing, the Bears are beautiful, the Bears are bad, the Bears, losers of five straight now and 5-6 in this creepy season in this weird world, are done. Stick a fork in them and pray for ketchup.
There will be no turnaround, there will be no miracle, there will be no candy canes or sugarplums, Santa. These pilgrims are kaput.
Next up? The Lions. They suck, too. As if it matters.--TK
Monday, November 30, 2020