December 2, 2020

Masks and Merriment

Santa,

    All I want for Christmas is a mask.

    And a vaccine.

    And a Corvette.

    And another mask.

    And a strong economy for everyone.

    And a vat of hand sanitizer.

    How about another mask?

    Santa, what I would truly be happy to see under my Christmas tree is a 72-inch television. A 72-inch television would not fit underneath my Christmas tree, though it might find room under yours.

    Santa, I would really like a mask. And shorter lines at the food pantries. Perhaps no lines at all because there would be no need.

    Santa, for Christmas can I get some PPE, a little PPP, and hugs and kisses for every EMT?

    A mask, Santa Claus, with your picture on it. A Santa beard mask, maybe. A few months ago I thought I would be asking for rubber gloves but those don’t seem to be needed as much as before. But a twin-pack of anti-bacterial wipes would still be sweet.

    For Christmas, Santa Claus, it would be refreshing to see an end to mythomania. How ‘bout instead, bring back Beatlemania? How’ bout bringing back the Beatles? And Kitaro.

    All we want for Christmas, Mrs. Claus, is a mask. A mask for you, a mask for me, a mask for them, and all the rest. All masks, all day, all night. Let the Kinks reunite and sing about it.

    Twelve months, twelve days of Christmas, twelve masks. Ceaseless shrouding of noses and mouths until summer. Then next Christmas we’ll ask for more masks. But we won’t wear them.--TK