O’ Holy Frickin’ Football
O’ Holy Frickin’ Football
Scrooge is a Packer
December 12, 2021
Packers 45, Bears 30
The Chicago Bears played some of their best, and certainly most exciting, football of the season at Lambeau Field in Green Bay on Sunday night and yet, they still lost to the Packers by two touchdowns on national TV, 45-30.
In other news, Santa Claus sleeps naked, George Clooney farts in church, and your cat knows exactly how to kill you most slowly and painfully but just chooses not to at this time.
What we are saying is another embarrassing loss to the Packers is not surprising at all.
We happily admit this one was damn fun in the first half as the Bears went to the locker room leading, 27-21 after a 24-point second quarter. The Packers were determined not be left behind, though, and scored 21 of their own in that frame and then, after halftime, comes this thing called the second half and…
Packers 45, Bears 30.
Santa Claus came down the chimney, shot me in the face, ate his cookies, and was gone.
The Bears had scoring passes from rookie quarterback Justin Fields of 46 yards to Jakeem Grant, 54 yards to Damiere Byrd, and then Mr. Grant returned a punt 97 yards for a score, the longest punt return in the Bears’ 100-year history and the first punt return for a TD in the NFL this season.
And, and, and…then came that damned second half Packers explosion/Bears implosion which you could see approaching like a pigeon landing on a brand new statue to take a shit.
The Bears made mistakes. The Bears stopped being bold. The Bears think Santa Claus is not watching and we don’t blame him if he turned off the TV in the fourth quarter.
Piss on all that’s sacred, righteous, and true and please give us a better offensive line for Christmas, along with smarter players, coachier coaches and a ski weekend in Vermont with Ana de Armas.
Do we ask for too much?
Fire up the old VCR and replay that second quarter over and over again. There was speed, there was light, there was bravado, there was hope. There was a second half against a Packers team that makes us hate Christmas, and weep for the New Year when really, the enemy is us. And we wear orange and blue. --TK
Sunday, December 12, 2021