The Nose of Xmas Horror
The Nose of Xmas Horror
Who Needs Friends When You Have Warts?
December 21, 2021
The Twelve Days of Smoke and Fears
“For Christmas, I’m going to have this thing removed from my face,” Ellington says to Capehart.
“Your nose?” Capehart asks.
“No!” Ellington says. “This!” He points to the wart beneath his left eye.
“Oh. How long have you had it?”
“Since the war.”
“The war?”
“The Vietnam War. I was born in 1970.”
“Oh yeah,” Capehart says. “But you should probably have your nose worked on too, you ugly bitch.”
The old friends laugh. Then they drink some more.
The next day Ellington gets his wart removed and Capehart doesn’t recognize him and spends the entire Christmas party calling him “Monsignor Delvecchio.” It’s fun for a while until the actual Monsignor Delvecchio shows up and there’s a fistfight and one of the Delvecchios ends up with a broken nose.
Oh, the Christmas irony.
The next year Ellington skips Christmas and has Thanksgiving twice. --TK
Tuesday, December 21, 2021