Death Loves a Holiday
Death Loves a Holiday
You Are What You Kill In Order to Celebrate
December 6, 2021
Once Upon a Cannibal
Disney+ has a generous offering of Christmas cartoons and movies. One of them is Mickey’s Once Upon a Christmas, which features those masters of mayhem Huey, Dewey, and Louie, the nephews of Donald Duck.
Being Donald’s nephews, Huey, Dewey, and Louie are, reasonably, ducks, just like their uncle. (Where are their parents?)
What do they feast upon for their Christmas dinner?
Turkey.
So savage. So cannibalistic. So disappointing. Would a real duck eat one of its own kind for Christmas? What do ducks eat? The Christmas Google machine says the answer is grains, grasses, plants, and bugs. No turkeys.
Who could win in a fight between a turkey and a duck? That would be a Christmas we would long recall, the Christmas Day when the duck fought the turkey in the living room and then they turned on the people and killed them all. And ate them.
Eventually in Mickey’s Once Upon a Christmas, the turkey does fight back, God bless it. But it’s not the same. Because then they end up eating ham.
No Christmas is safe unless everyone eats spaghetti. --TK
Monday, December 6, 2021