December 29, 2022

Grounded

Chicago’s Midway Airport has been a scene of living hell this Christmas week with thousands of canceled flights, tens of thousands of stranded passengers, hundreds of thousands of lost pieces of luggage, and 570 trillion instances of sincere profanity, and profane sincerity.

But on this day there was one very happy young couple that actually said they didn’t mind a delay or two because they have been on a whirlwind trip across the U.S. which culminated in them getting engaged in New York City on Christmas Eve.

And this couple also said, in their lovely Australian accents, that America has been very nice to them.

We have no doubt.

We are a good people in a nice country. Even amid Christmas travel meltdowns.

Australia was founded by criminals. America is too often run by idiots.

Oh Santa, make it all make sense.

And while you’re at it, there’s still time to bring us that Cadillac. You know, the cherry red one with gold flames on the side, and a license plate that says AMERICAGODBEERMAMA. 

The year is dying. --TK