December 11, 2023

Good as Gold

Mr. and Mrs. Claus sit at the breakfast table, eating toast and  drinking tea, another busy day ahead of them, two weeks until Christmas.

Mrs. Claus reads the New York Times. Santa, as usual, is looking through an old issue of Hustler.

“Have you read this article?” Gertrude Claus asks her husband.

“The one about jock itch?” Santa replies.

“No!” She admonishes him. “This one in the Times about giant gold fish in the Great Lakes. They’re terrible.”

Santa smiles. “Let’s give them to the kids on both lists! Ha-ha!”

He laughs menacingly for at least twenty seconds as Mrs. Claus sneers at him.

Santa apologizes and he and Mrs. Claus have sex quickly and passionately and then spend the rest of the day making toys.

And thinking about fish. --TK